Cultural Identity
For both women who immigrated to the U.S. at a young age and women who, like me, were born here but were raised in immigrant communities, forming a cultural identity has been a process of negotiation, of a constant push and pull. The result is usually something that’s neither Indian nor American; that’s not neatly categorizable; that’s complex and different for each and every Indian American woman.
Of the fifty-two women that responded to my survey and the five – from that same pool – that I spoke with personally, nearly half are immigrants and a few more are the children of immigrants; only one respondent said that both she and her parents were born in the U.S.
Yet most, even those of us who were raised in this country and feel very much tied to both Indian and American culture, seem to think of themselves as Indian first, American second. On a scale of 1-5, 1 being “Totally Indian” and 5 being “Totally American,” 44.2% selected either “1” or “2” on the scale, indicating that in their conception of their own cultural identity, they lean towards the Indian side of the spectrum. Only 17.3% leaned towards a more American identity. But there was still a sizable chunk of “3s” (38.5%), who either felt pretty balanced or, more likely, felt that my question was too complicated to answer on a scale of 1-5 (which it is!).
I realized, of course, that it was a slightly unfair question; I myself struggle to come up with my own answer (3? 4?), but I just wanted to get a sense of how people would respond if they had to.
I personally was born and raised in this country, and I feel very much entrenched in this culture in terms of pop culture – the things I read, listen to, watch, etc. – and in terms of some of my values. For instance, I believe in growing as an individual and really focusing on taking care of myself and my happiness, which isn’t an exclusively American mentality, but it’s definitely more Western, at least in my experience. But then, of course, a lot of my values are Indian, too; most importantly, I believe in really valuing and respecting your family and your parents. So I’m definitely both Indian and American, and both influences are strong in different ways.
The women that I spoke to at length also got a chance to flesh out some of the complexity of this question and explore how they think these two cultural forces, Indian and American, have influenced who they are. Esha (age 19), for example, told me that even though she now feels like Indian culture – specifically Bengali culture – has been a huge part of her life, in elementary and middle school she “just wanted to be like everyone else.“ Now, though, that’s definitely changed:
Yet most, even those of us who were raised in this country and feel very much tied to both Indian and American culture, seem to think of themselves as Indian first, American second. On a scale of 1-5, 1 being “Totally Indian” and 5 being “Totally American,” 44.2% selected either “1” or “2” on the scale, indicating that in their conception of their own cultural identity, they lean towards the Indian side of the spectrum. Only 17.3% leaned towards a more American identity. But there was still a sizable chunk of “3s” (38.5%), who either felt pretty balanced or, more likely, felt that my question was too complicated to answer on a scale of 1-5 (which it is!).
I realized, of course, that it was a slightly unfair question; I myself struggle to come up with my own answer (3? 4?), but I just wanted to get a sense of how people would respond if they had to.
I personally was born and raised in this country, and I feel very much entrenched in this culture in terms of pop culture – the things I read, listen to, watch, etc. – and in terms of some of my values. For instance, I believe in growing as an individual and really focusing on taking care of myself and my happiness, which isn’t an exclusively American mentality, but it’s definitely more Western, at least in my experience. But then, of course, a lot of my values are Indian, too; most importantly, I believe in really valuing and respecting your family and your parents. So I’m definitely both Indian and American, and both influences are strong in different ways.
The women that I spoke to at length also got a chance to flesh out some of the complexity of this question and explore how they think these two cultural forces, Indian and American, have influenced who they are. Esha (age 19), for example, told me that even though she now feels like Indian culture – specifically Bengali culture – has been a huge part of her life, in elementary and middle school she “just wanted to be like everyone else.“ Now, though, that’s definitely changed:
“I think I’ve learned to embrace it more instead of trying to fit in and be something that I’m not, like, I think that’s something that got me here as I grew older, because you start – you just start appreciating it more. You know, like you don’t have to be like everyone else, you know, and just – that realization is kind of liberating.”
That shift over time, the process of continually redefining and accepting different aspects of your identity, is definitely something that came up in my conversations with the other women as well, and definitely something I can relate to. I think I definitely felt more American for most of my elementary/middle/high school years. For a while I really resisted a lot of aspects of Indian culture: the dress, Bollywood, the food (the food?! Yes, the food! – it’s not all paneer and samosas, guys), etc. It wasn’t exactly like I was embarrassed of it or anything like that, but I just really didn’t feel like I identified with those things, and I was surrounded by American culture in school. Looking back, I can see that I wanted to fit in, that I recognized some sort of code of behavior that was expected, and, I mean, I didn’t have to try that hard to live up to that because – like I said – I already felt like I identified with American culture, but I did feel like I had to work at it a tiny bit. Being “American” – whatever that means.
But anyway, it wasn’t until college that I started to embrace Indian culture, or at least the Indian-in-America culture that has formed since my parents’ generation first came here. I still felt (and feel to this day) American in my behavior, dress, pop culture interests, etc. but I try to be more culturally aware; I’ve started learning Hindi (I already know Gujarati fairly well…ish), taking classes about Indian history and contemporary issues in India, and finally enjoying Bollywood (and some non-Bollywood) films and music. Leaving home also made me see more clearly just how much of my value system is Indian, at least in terms of interpersonal relationships, and I’ve grown even closer with my parents because of that. So I think that I’m now more committed to my identity as an Indian American, and to growing in that space.
But anyway, it wasn’t until college that I started to embrace Indian culture, or at least the Indian-in-America culture that has formed since my parents’ generation first came here. I still felt (and feel to this day) American in my behavior, dress, pop culture interests, etc. but I try to be more culturally aware; I’ve started learning Hindi (I already know Gujarati fairly well…ish), taking classes about Indian history and contemporary issues in India, and finally enjoying Bollywood (and some non-Bollywood) films and music. Leaving home also made me see more clearly just how much of my value system is Indian, at least in terms of interpersonal relationships, and I’ve grown even closer with my parents because of that. So I think that I’m now more committed to my identity as an Indian American, and to growing in that space.